The Wellness Connection

I believe we create every circumstance in our life – all of it.  For example, I’m learning that our emotional state is directly responsible for our physical state of  well-being – or misalignment. When I’m in a joyful, peaceful, loving, enthusiastic, inspired and empowered emotional state, I feel physically well, healthy, strong, vibrant, energetic and alive!   However, when I’m in a negative emotional state (fear, anger, depression, guilt, frustration, unworthiness, doubt, worry etc) those negative emotions translate into a negative physical manifestation – illness, disease or physical pain.  If I feel unwell or in pain, the first thing I do is look inward to my emotional state, knowing that the answer, and the antidote is right here within me.

Have you noticed how people who live in a constant, chronic state of negative emotion are always ill – or suddenly become seriously ill?  They will tell you that they feel negative because they are ill or because they are in pain, but the truth that I’m discovering is, they feel pain because they live inside their negativity. Their body is reflecting their chronic, long term negative thoughts by physically manifesting their emotional pain.  The longer and more deeply entrenched a person is in chronic negative thoughts and emotions, the deeper and more severe their ailments become.

There are a number of Metaphysic experts who link physical and emotional health in this way. Lousie L. Hays’ book, ‘Heal Your Body’ lists physical ailments and the emotional/psychological links her years of in-depth research has uncovered.

In her book, ‘Anatomy Of The Spirit’, Caroline Myss talks about (among other things) the correlation between the seven Chakras, or power centres, in the body and how they relate to the physical body, the non-physical body and the emotions.  If you haven’t read these books, I highly recommend them both.

I recently went back through my life and did an inventory of all the major illnesses, injuries and diseases I’ve had.  I thought carefully about what was happening in my life and the condition of my emotional state at the time these ailments occurred.  I was stunned when I realised the connection between the way I was feeling emotionally and the way I was feeling physically. Every single time I suffered a physical ailment, whether it was severe depression, chronic lower back pain, torn muscles in my neck and shoulder, torn ligaments in my foot, chronic bronchial infections even my disease of compulsive overeating and food addiction, I had been suffering from chronic negative thoughts and emotions – often for a long period.

Then I looked at the times I had felt incredibly happy, empowered, filled with passion, enthusiasm, and a sense of security and emotional well-being and realised that at those times I was physically also very healthy and filled with a sense of physical well-being.

These days, armed with my knowledge of the Law Of Attraction and my ability to manifest anything I focus my thoughts upon, plus my growing interest in metaphysics and the physical/emotional/spiritual connection, I recognise that negative emotions are a signal to me that I’m not in alignment with my higher self.  I immediately begin to think/climb my way up the emotional ladder to find better feeling thoughts and raise my emotional position to one of joy and love.  I rarely get sick these days and when I do, I look upon it as a wonderful opportunity to heal my emotions.

As an exercise, I encourage you to write a health inventory too.  You’ll be amazed at the links you find between your emotional and physical health.  Its a profound and powerful moment when you realise that your state of natural physical health and well-being begins with your emotional health and well-being. Its empowering because it means you have absolute control over your state of physical, as well as emotional and spiritual, health.  Empowering indeed.

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Food, Addiction & Me

Food and eating have been a constant comfort to me throughout my life. It has been my friend, my punisher, my master and my emotional support whether I was happy or sad, having fun or depressed, in or out of love, bored, lonely, tired, stressed – you name it. Mostly I used food to stuff down my feelings. I was unable to cope with my emotions like ‘normal’ people do.

I haven’t yet uncovered the event that triggered my disease. Maybe I will and maybe I won’t. I do know that it was something that happened when I was quite young, because when I look back at my relationship with food, I have always eaten far more than I needed, and I have always turned to food for comfort. From the age of about four I have been overweight, and by the time I was a teenager, my weight and eating were out of control. This sad state of affairs was to continue into my adulthood and although I tried different diets, fads, and exercise regimes, nothing worked for long and if I did lose weight, I couldn’t sustain the diet or exercise for long, which would cause me to fall into depression, and I would end up overeating again. I’d put all the weight back on – and then some.

I used to think that everyone around me was insane. My parents were always separating and then getting back together (they did get divorced at one point and then got back together again). No one in my family maintained healthy or long relationships. I was bullied a lot at school and had few real friends. People never seemed to want the same things I did, and I couldn’t understand that. After all, I knew I was right and that my ideas were great, and they would be so much happier if only they would do as I suggested!!

I was artistic, egocentric, a perfectionist, and often full of big grandiose plans, and I always felt victimised because I’d work hard to achieve something important to me and it seemed that someone or something would always get in the way and destroy my dreams. My motto as a young adult was “Help me or get out of my way!” Such massive self-centeredness takes my breath away now, but back then it was the way I felt. My denial that any of my problems were my fault or caused by addiction, was complete and absolute.

135kg (297lb) in 2006

As an adult, I functioned quite well on the outside, and to the outsider looking in, I always appeared very busy with work commitments or with family, gave the general impression that I was a professional business woman, and usually I was. But like any other addict, my life was mostly out of control and completely unmanageable. The people closest to me saw my pain and frustration, but didn’t know how to ‘fix’ me. To them, I was just a hopeless dreamer who would never get where I wanted to go. I was a victim again.

This is basically how my life was right up until November 2007 when I was guided by a friend to Overeaters Anonymous, a 12 Step program based on Alcoholics Anonymous. I had never even heard of OA so it was a revelation to me. And I was ready for a change. Soul ready. I knew that I had to do something about my messed up life and my weight problem, which had by then blown out at 135kgs (around 270lbs).

Although nothing had ever worked for me before, I decided to give OA a try. I got a sponsor and worked the 12 step program, which began my recovery from this devastating disease.

90 kg (198 lb) in 2010

After about 3 years in OA I felt that there was something more I needed to understand about my weight issue. It seemed to me that the 12 Step program kept me focused on the disease and therefore inescapably entrenched in it. At OA meetings, the discussion was always about food, our eating disorder, this disease we had that we would always have. I watched as so many OA members in those meetings struggled and failed to stop overeating, binging, purging etc, and find abstinence and recovery. They lived in constant negativity and powerlessness. Some made it, some didn’t. The ones that make it seem to either be resigned and accepting of their state of powerlessness and happy to live their life feeling that way, or like me, they find a new path that leads to a positive self acceptance and sense of power and strength that flows from within, that part of us that is eternal, absolutely powerful, universal energy.

One of the things I’ve learned and experienced through studying and actively practicing the Law of Attraction is that we get what we focus on. Whatever we put our mind to, whatever we talk about – whatever we place our energy into – that is what we will get.

These days I focus on wellness, not illness. I focus on positive aspects feelings and things rather than negative ones. I focus on what I want, not what I don’t want – and you’d be surprised how often our undisciplined thoughts, words and actions are focused on what we don’t want! There is a big difference between saying “I want to stop eating and lose weight” and “I am moving toward a healthy state of Being”.

I used to feel grateful for a lot of things. I don’t anymore. I feel a deep appreciation for my life and everything in it. For me, appreciation is a much higher, more powerful and freedom-centred emotion than gratitude.

Today, success as a human being, a mother, friend, artistic creator and business woman is a very real and sustainable part of my life, as daily I allow myself to be guided by that part of me that is eternal and God centred. Using the best of the 12 Step program and the Law of Attraction, along with several other methodologies I’ve learned along the way, I have not only built a life filled with unlimited potential, joy, serenity, forgiveness and love, I can share my experience and knowledge with my clients and help them too.

That truly is a blessing that I appreciate everyday.

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